Sunday, January 30, 2005
This morning, I got up, and realized that it was my turn to make breakfast. I wanted to try something new so I looked up a recipe for 'French Crepes' on the web.
Some of these websites ask for feedback on how the recipes turn out. so I wrote the following letter to mrbreakfast.com:
Dear Mr. Breakfast.
Re: French Crepe Recipe.
Not only do you not have enough milk in the recipe, but you call for moderately high heat... which instantly burns the crepes.
The lack of milk gives the crepe a thickness of a mattress with the texture of a basketball. In fact, one ‘crepe’ did slip off of the skillet and bounced from the floor into our living room, knocking over a potted plant.
I find the fact that you name this recipe 'French' crepes, is insulting to the French. Although I have only spent a few months living in France and eating Crepes, not once did I see the French dining on burnt dictionaries.
Anyone stupid enough to attempt this recipe would be in for a delightful morning of feasting on burnt, tasteless, pancakes with the specific gravity of a brick.
I look forward to trying your other recipes if I am ever employed as an interrogator overseas.
J Marshall
Some of these websites ask for feedback on how the recipes turn out. so I wrote the following letter to mrbreakfast.com:
Dear Mr. Breakfast.
Re: French Crepe Recipe.
Not only do you not have enough milk in the recipe, but you call for moderately high heat... which instantly burns the crepes.
The lack of milk gives the crepe a thickness of a mattress with the texture of a basketball. In fact, one ‘crepe’ did slip off of the skillet and bounced from the floor into our living room, knocking over a potted plant.
I find the fact that you name this recipe 'French' crepes, is insulting to the French. Although I have only spent a few months living in France and eating Crepes, not once did I see the French dining on burnt dictionaries.
Anyone stupid enough to attempt this recipe would be in for a delightful morning of feasting on burnt, tasteless, pancakes with the specific gravity of a brick.
I look forward to trying your other recipes if I am ever employed as an interrogator overseas.
J Marshall
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Napoleon Dynamite
A review
Upon the recommendation of friends, I rented Napoleon Dynamite. I use the following equation to judge a movie’s quality:
Q= L - D
Q: Quality of movie is equal to the Length of the movie subtract time spent Discussing or laughing at the movie.
It works this way; If I spend more time discussing the movie after I’ve watched it, It was a good movie. If I gain no insights and have no conversations about the movie. Then I wasted my time. In this case 82 minutes.
I divided those 82 minutes by the number of friends who recommended the movie (6) and each of you owe me 13.6 minutes.
That’s to start…..
Now let’s subtract the parts I like from the 82 minutes I spent watching a guy out to prove that he has nothing to prove.
“Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Lochness to blow Nessy out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessy Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.”
Laughed at that one… we’re down to 80 minutes.
I have lots of skills. Girls only like guys with skills. Like bowhunting skills, numchuck skills, computer hacking skills. There's a buttload of gangs in this school - one of them kept bugging me to join cause I'm pretty good with a bo-staff.
78 minutes
I could go on, but you see how it works…
Who would have thought that a movie with no real plot could be so good
So instead of owing me for recommending this movie, I owe you guys a ‘thanks’.
Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
A review
Upon the recommendation of friends, I rented Napoleon Dynamite. I use the following equation to judge a movie’s quality:
Q= L - D
Q: Quality of movie is equal to the Length of the movie subtract time spent Discussing or laughing at the movie.
It works this way; If I spend more time discussing the movie after I’ve watched it, It was a good movie. If I gain no insights and have no conversations about the movie. Then I wasted my time. In this case 82 minutes.
I divided those 82 minutes by the number of friends who recommended the movie (6) and each of you owe me 13.6 minutes.
That’s to start…..
Now let’s subtract the parts I like from the 82 minutes I spent watching a guy out to prove that he has nothing to prove.
“Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Lochness to blow Nessy out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessy Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.”
Laughed at that one… we’re down to 80 minutes.
I have lots of skills. Girls only like guys with skills. Like bowhunting skills, numchuck skills, computer hacking skills. There's a buttload of gangs in this school - one of them kept bugging me to join cause I'm pretty good with a bo-staff.
78 minutes
I could go on, but you see how it works…
Who would have thought that a movie with no real plot could be so good
So instead of owing me for recommending this movie, I owe you guys a ‘thanks’.
Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
