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Saturday, January 15, 2005

Napoleon Dynamite

A review

Upon the recommendation of friends, I rented Napoleon Dynamite. I use the following equation to judge a movie’s quality:

Q= L - D

Q: Quality of movie is equal to the Length of the movie subtract time spent Discussing or laughing at the movie.

It works this way; If I spend more time discussing the movie after I’ve watched it, It was a good movie. If I gain no insights and have no conversations about the movie. Then I wasted my time. In this case 82 minutes.

I divided those 82 minutes by the number of friends who recommended the movie (6) and each of you owe me 13.6 minutes.

That’s to start…..

Now let’s subtract the parts I like from the 82 minutes I spent watching a guy out to prove that he has nothing to prove.

“Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Lochness to blow Nessy out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessy Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.”

Laughed at that one… we’re down to 80 minutes.

I have lots of skills. Girls only like guys with skills. Like bowhunting skills, numchuck skills, computer hacking skills. There's a buttload of gangs in this school - one of them kept bugging me to join cause I'm pretty good with a bo-staff.

78 minutes

I could go on, but you see how it works…

Who would have thought that a movie with no real plot could be so good

So instead of owing me for recommending this movie, I owe you guys a ‘thanks’.
Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.

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