Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Last day of 2003. Resolutions for the New Year
1. Less Clothes - It doesn't really matter how this is accomplished. It could mean I buy less t-shirts and just use my suits more often. Or it could mean I move to Brasil. In a pinch, I could just spend more time naked... I'd be ok with that... My roommates, probably wouldn't.
2. Get a part of some 'girl on girl action'. Apparently it was trendy during my early twenties, and I missed it. So it's a grasp at youth, I'm single, it's not hurting anybody, so lay off already!!!
3. Take more naps in hammocks. That means either I move to the tropics, take a vacation there, or find a place in the backyard to string up my own.
4. Find a job.
5. Get something published...
1. Less Clothes - It doesn't really matter how this is accomplished. It could mean I buy less t-shirts and just use my suits more often. Or it could mean I move to Brasil. In a pinch, I could just spend more time naked... I'd be ok with that... My roommates, probably wouldn't.
2. Get a part of some 'girl on girl action'. Apparently it was trendy during my early twenties, and I missed it. So it's a grasp at youth, I'm single, it's not hurting anybody, so lay off already!!!
3. Take more naps in hammocks. That means either I move to the tropics, take a vacation there, or find a place in the backyard to string up my own.
4. Find a job.
5. Get something published...
Friday, December 12, 2003
Kung Fu Filing
It was coming for a week… we planned it. Or, to be precise, I planned it. The folding and stuffing of 300 envelopes for a mass mailing of invitations.
It made sense to do it on the morning following St Patrick’s. After all, If I was coming in with a hangover, I didn’t need to be challenged with actually having to think.
I stacked all 300 papers on the left side of my desk.
Then I folded them, about a third of the way across so they would fit into the envelopes….
Then, after repeating the procedure about 150 times, I got a little crazy and folded them on the right side of my desk.
Soon, all 300 were done….
Time to put the other fold into the page…
I went and got a coffee to prepare for the mind numbing task.
I returned to my desk and switched chairs. By changing the height of my chair, I would eliminate the risk of repetitive strain injury.
300 folds later, and not a single paper cut… I was at the top of my game….time to prepare the 300 envelopes…
first, take the previously prepared 300 labels and peel and stick them onto 300 envelopes.
then.. take lunch.
After lunch, it was time to seal them. There was no way I was going to lick 300 envelopes closed and risk a nasty paper cut on the most important muscle of my body, so I got a 'sponge pen'. I developed a technique for sealing the envelopes perfectly... even the receptionist with years of experience was impressed...
Then I brought the stack of 300 envelopes to the last part of the procedure.. putting the postal markings on...
I found the post machine with a blue mail bag attached to it... Perfect... after I fed all the envelopes through, the mail bag could go straight to the post office across the parking lot from work.
I proudly began feeding the envelopes one by one into the machine. Zip! Zip! Zip!... the machine made a happy noise as it fed the envelopes into the bag.... Just then one of my supervisors came around the corner..
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Putting postage on the promotional mailouts" I proudly responded between 'zips'.
"With the shredder?" She asked.....
It was coming for a week… we planned it. Or, to be precise, I planned it. The folding and stuffing of 300 envelopes for a mass mailing of invitations.
It made sense to do it on the morning following St Patrick’s. After all, If I was coming in with a hangover, I didn’t need to be challenged with actually having to think.
I stacked all 300 papers on the left side of my desk.
Then I folded them, about a third of the way across so they would fit into the envelopes….
Then, after repeating the procedure about 150 times, I got a little crazy and folded them on the right side of my desk.
Soon, all 300 were done….
Time to put the other fold into the page…
I went and got a coffee to prepare for the mind numbing task.
I returned to my desk and switched chairs. By changing the height of my chair, I would eliminate the risk of repetitive strain injury.
300 folds later, and not a single paper cut… I was at the top of my game….time to prepare the 300 envelopes…
first, take the previously prepared 300 labels and peel and stick them onto 300 envelopes.
then.. take lunch.
After lunch, it was time to seal them. There was no way I was going to lick 300 envelopes closed and risk a nasty paper cut on the most important muscle of my body, so I got a 'sponge pen'. I developed a technique for sealing the envelopes perfectly... even the receptionist with years of experience was impressed...
Then I brought the stack of 300 envelopes to the last part of the procedure.. putting the postal markings on...
I found the post machine with a blue mail bag attached to it... Perfect... after I fed all the envelopes through, the mail bag could go straight to the post office across the parking lot from work.
I proudly began feeding the envelopes one by one into the machine. Zip! Zip! Zip!... the machine made a happy noise as it fed the envelopes into the bag.... Just then one of my supervisors came around the corner..
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Putting postage on the promotional mailouts" I proudly responded between 'zips'.
"With the shredder?" She asked.....
