Drunk, Half Naked, and Yelling at the Mailbox

I've been in school now for about 7 weeks, and my upper back/ lower neck is really starting to bother me. So I cunsulted a few friends, and found a chiroprachtor. Now, as you may recall, I'm not averse to some wacky pseudo-medical treatments. So to those who say 'A chiroprachtor isn't a real doctor." You may be right, but that doesn't mean they can't help a sore neck.

So I call, they will be happy to see me, the first visit will be just to fill out the paperwork, and let them do a quick first assessment to determine what treatment might be needed.

I find the office, walk in, and am introduced to Jodi, a friendly girl in her early 20's. She's an assistant who will guide me through the paperwork and any questions I might have. She hands me a pile of papers to fill out that will detail my medical history. 'Include any major bumps or falls you may have had.' She leaves me with the papers, and I note how I'm in generaly good health, just a guy with a stiff neck.

Jodi comes back, and tells me more about the chiroprachtic field and how it's just as important for me to be well informed about the treatment as it is for them to be well informed about me ."In order to treat you' she says, looking me in the eyes, "I need to know you". I'm tempted to tell her "I sleep in the nude", but I don't think that what she meant.

I watch a quick video that explains how Chiroprachtors recieve 4-6 years of training after they finish thier initial degree. The room I'm watching this in has diplomas and certificates all over the walls. I look closer, they are degrees from the University of Calgary in Sociology, and Physical Education. Ok.. I get the point... you guys want to be respected for your training. I can respect that these guys are good at what they do.... but if I need stitches, or a kidney transplant, I don't think these guys could do any better than someone with thier PhD. in confederate history. I'll take a real MD over a Doctor of Chiroprachtic anyday...

Regardless, I'm here for a sore neck. Jodi asks to change into some loose fitting shorts and go shirtless. she'll come back into the room in a couple of minutes. I change, and a different girl comes in. Melanie, is a young girl in her early 20's, who has probably seen enough shirtless men and women in this job that it no longer affects her. But I still imagine that it must be the toughest part of the job.... never knowing what's coming when a new patient calls in.

She does a couple of tests on my back, measuring how far I can bend, stretch, and lean. My balance, which for most people is up to 5 pounds heavier on one foot than the other, is perfectly equal on both feet.

She takes a chromothermometer and measures the internal temperature of each vertibrae, explaining that any temperature fluctuations within my spinal column would indicate problem areas. I'm not sure what part of "I have a sore neck" requires her to look for further problem areas, but I'll let her do what she does, after all, she's the professional. I noticed her sociology degree on the wall.

On my way out, we schedule the next part of my examination, X-rays. I'll go back Monday, get the x-rays and begin treatment. They give me my complimentary ice pack and tell me that I'll want that for after my adjustment. "Not that it's painful, " they say, "It feels good at first , but can be quite uncomfortable later on."

"Kinda like heroin." I suggest...

They suggest we end our conversation and I come back when my X-ray's are done.