Monday, June 24, 2002
Midgets, Guns and ....Missionaries
We load up the car and head out to the coast. 4 hours later we are in Playa Azul. I finally get to check out the place that Victor and I have been talking about building. The building isn’t much, just a few boards and a roof to keep the rain off. There’s some light bulbs and that’s the extent of it.
Travel tips from those who know (#24):
Turning on lights in the tropics will attract insects. Which in turn attract frogs and iguanas who like to eat insects. Which in turn attract snakes who like to eat frogs who like to eat insects. Sleep under a mosquito net and keep the lights off.
Spent a couple of days getting bruises, burns, and scratch marks on my back and ass... but I was finally able to say those three words that mean so much to a guy like me... "I can surf".
A few days later we took a drive down the coast to Ixtapa, and Zihuatenejo.
We check into a hostel in Zihuatenejo. it's only about 5 US a night but it's well kept, and since it's the low season, we are the only ones there. In fact, there isn't even any staff. The person in charge is a police officer stationed there to take care of everything. He's about 22 years old and is nice and friendly to us. There's no other visitors, and haven't been for a few days so he's happy to have some company. We trade a few stories and all chip in together to get some dinner. He grills up some tacos and we share our bottle of coke.
After dinner we went out to Señor Frogs in Ixtapa for a couple of beers... the bar was busy with people dancing all over the tables and on the different platforms... Then someone caught my eye. On the stage, surrounded by some well dressed girls was a dwarf. Of course he caught my eye for the fact that he was much shorter than the rest of the people in the bar, but what really stood out was the way he was dancing...He had all the moves down to one of the popular dance club songs from Spain:
"Arms in the air- Arms down,
like the gorillas- Ugg Ugg Ugg"
Travel tips from those who know (#59):
If you ever see a midget dancing like a gorilla and chanting "Ugg Ugg Ugg" it will make beer shoot out your nose. (even if you are drinking tequila. go figure)
Travel tips from those who know (#60):
In many bars, you are cut off when beer shoots out of your nose.
So we headed back to Zijuatenejo where we bumped into our friend the police officer. He offered to take us to another bar, so we gladly accepted. We hopped back into the car with him in the back seat. He pulled his revolver out of the holster and put it down beside him.
"Can I see your gun?" I asked.
"Sure" he said, handing it to me.
I looked at the gun for a second... A .357 revolver.
"Hey, make a U-turn here." he says, and Victor pulls the turn. The red and blue of police lights go on behind us and signal us to pull over.
At this point….our entire evening changes.
Instead of handing the gun back to our friend the cop in the seat behind me, I slip it under my seat.
This was the smartest thing I could have done...
The cops ask Victor for his license and registration and inform him that he made an illegal U-turn. He apologizes and they begin to tell him "I guess you have to make a decision". They are asking for a bribe.
Meanwhile, in the back of the car, the cop who was with us decides that this is unacceptable.
"Give me back my gun." He says to me.
"No" I reply.
"Give me back my gun! I'm going to shoot those bastards!!! he says, getting more excited.
Travel tips from those who know (#38):
Avoid gunfights in Mexico.
"Definitely not!", I say again, putting my foot firmly on top of the revolver and sliding it farther away from him, "It's not necessary, just shut up”. I discover at this point that our officer friend is completely drunk. I can smell the alcohol coming off his breath. I decide that I’m not giving him back his gun. Ever.
Victor pays off the two cops and we get back into the car. The drunk cop in our back seat decides that he needs to go check on his house, because the rain may have washed it away.
“It’s just up the hill.” He says, pointing at a hill that has had it’s only road washed away by rain. Victor explains that the car won’t make it up the hill, so we’ll just go back to the hostel and leave him here to check on it.
“No you don’t. You have to come with me. It’s too dangerous for you guys to be out without me to protect you.” He says. We can’t seem to get rid of this guy as he believes we are his best friends and he is protecting us from harm.
So up we went… I tucked the gun into the back of my jeans and we scrambled up the mud covered mountain with a drunk police officer at 2am Up the hill are the shanty towns, where the poor build houses out of whatever materials they can. We are constantly being barked at by the dogs that people use to protect their houses here. The shanty towns that we are wandering through have no light or water service so we have to make our way slowly.
We got to his house, and realized his concern… it is nothing more than a wooden shack the size of a single car garage, with a dirt floor (which has by this point turned to mud and has a small river running through one side of it. The house could have easily been washed away by a heavy rain. He introduced us to his wife (who was not impressed when her husband came home drunk with two complete strangers) and then asked for his gun back. I handed it to his wife who put it away…
We made our excuse to head back down the hill and get to sleep in our rooms. “I’m still supposed to be there guarding you guys and your stuff so I’ll come with you… we better take this” He said picking up an even bigger gun that he had by the doorway.
“I’ll take that” I offered, and he actually handed it to me. I took a close look, this one was a .38 revolver. Big enough to knock your internal organs out through your back at close range. While he wasn't looking I removed the bullets from the .38, and put then in my pocket. I tucked the revolver into my belt and continued down the hill, in the dark. He could have the gun back, but I was keeping the bullets. We slipped and scrambled down the hill and got back to out hostel.
That’s where we made a discovery. Unknown to us, while we were out having a couple of beers, he had opened up the cooler we left in our room and drank a half a bottle of our rum. Straight. Thus explaining how he got drunk.
We sat around for a bit until we knew that he was asleep and then Victor removed the clip from his rifle. The cop had his guns, we had his ammo. We slept a little better.
Got up the next day and split town to Acapulco
Acapulco is currently going through a bit of a problem that goes unseen by the tourists who visit the wealthy sections of town. Here’s the explanation:
Right at sunset, when it's still hot and now getting dark... the lights go out, the ceiling fans stop and the electricity is shut down for an hour... Of course the hotels all have their own power generators, so they are unaffected, but the actual citizens of the city are forced to sit outside as it gets darker and darker, and they can no longer see inside their houses. traffic becomes crowded around all the intersections as people have no more traffic lights
to ignore. as this hour drags on, people become more and more angry and begin honking their horns and banging pots and pans... the volume of the entire neighborhood grows and grows with people shouting "turn on the lights!" until finally, they go on... and
everyone calms down again...
The power company is protesting the government’s idea to privatize the service.
On the beach, I met a missionary, Kim, from Denver. She was playing with a young Mexican boy at the beach in Acapulco..
”So are you doing this here in Guerrero, or just in Acapulco?“
”Where's Guerrero? “
”That's the name of the state we are in..”
”Oh... I didn't know that.... we're just in Acapulco.
”Do you speak Spanish?“
”No... “
Victor began chatting with her and I started piecing things
together. Then I opened my big mouth to make sure I could put a foot
in it.
"So late me get this straight. You don't speak Spanish, and you
don't know the name of the state you are in and you are helping
these kids how?"
"We're on a mission."
"So your God sent you down here completely unprepared?"
She stopped talking to me
”They're orphans, they need friends. “ She muttered.
Then Victor took over, "...and there aren't enough Mexicans to do this?”
Kim didn’t answer.. (What would you say to a Mexican who asked you this?)
”Why did you chose resort cities instead of places that need help like Chiapas, or Tabasco?“ Victor continued.
”Our church wanted us to be in Mexico.“ She answered.
”Those places are in Mexico....“ Victor pointed out to her.
The conversation, ended there...
Spent our nights in the bars of Acapulco which are not cheap by any standards… $25-30 US cover charge. No jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, or in some bars, you can only enter if you have a date. Two guys… no chance… two girls… of course. We ended up in one bar that had a midget for a bouncer. (wanna see the photo? just ask)This place rocks!!!
Next day we took a drive up the cliffs to see where the famous Acapulco cliff divers leap off the rocks into the water. It's really an impressive sight... they have to time their jumping with the waves in order to avoid landing in water that is only 3 meters deep... the arriving waves can add up to 3 more meters to their landing, but if they mis-calculate, it's going to be bad news.
Last few days were spent at Playa Azul surfing again…pretty tranquil. So now I’m back in Morelia again… here for a few more days before I head to Mexico City and get into trouble there… hope I find another midget… three’s lucky.
We load up the car and head out to the coast. 4 hours later we are in Playa Azul. I finally get to check out the place that Victor and I have been talking about building. The building isn’t much, just a few boards and a roof to keep the rain off. There’s some light bulbs and that’s the extent of it.
Travel tips from those who know (#24):
Turning on lights in the tropics will attract insects. Which in turn attract frogs and iguanas who like to eat insects. Which in turn attract snakes who like to eat frogs who like to eat insects. Sleep under a mosquito net and keep the lights off.
Spent a couple of days getting bruises, burns, and scratch marks on my back and ass... but I was finally able to say those three words that mean so much to a guy like me... "I can surf".
A few days later we took a drive down the coast to Ixtapa, and Zihuatenejo.
We check into a hostel in Zihuatenejo. it's only about 5 US a night but it's well kept, and since it's the low season, we are the only ones there. In fact, there isn't even any staff. The person in charge is a police officer stationed there to take care of everything. He's about 22 years old and is nice and friendly to us. There's no other visitors, and haven't been for a few days so he's happy to have some company. We trade a few stories and all chip in together to get some dinner. He grills up some tacos and we share our bottle of coke.
After dinner we went out to Señor Frogs in Ixtapa for a couple of beers... the bar was busy with people dancing all over the tables and on the different platforms... Then someone caught my eye. On the stage, surrounded by some well dressed girls was a dwarf. Of course he caught my eye for the fact that he was much shorter than the rest of the people in the bar, but what really stood out was the way he was dancing...He had all the moves down to one of the popular dance club songs from Spain:
"Arms in the air- Arms down,
like the gorillas- Ugg Ugg Ugg"
Travel tips from those who know (#59):
If you ever see a midget dancing like a gorilla and chanting "Ugg Ugg Ugg" it will make beer shoot out your nose. (even if you are drinking tequila. go figure)
Travel tips from those who know (#60):
In many bars, you are cut off when beer shoots out of your nose.
So we headed back to Zijuatenejo where we bumped into our friend the police officer. He offered to take us to another bar, so we gladly accepted. We hopped back into the car with him in the back seat. He pulled his revolver out of the holster and put it down beside him.
"Can I see your gun?" I asked.
"Sure" he said, handing it to me.
I looked at the gun for a second... A .357 revolver.
"Hey, make a U-turn here." he says, and Victor pulls the turn. The red and blue of police lights go on behind us and signal us to pull over.
At this point….our entire evening changes.
Instead of handing the gun back to our friend the cop in the seat behind me, I slip it under my seat.
This was the smartest thing I could have done...
The cops ask Victor for his license and registration and inform him that he made an illegal U-turn. He apologizes and they begin to tell him "I guess you have to make a decision". They are asking for a bribe.
Meanwhile, in the back of the car, the cop who was with us decides that this is unacceptable.
"Give me back my gun." He says to me.
"No" I reply.
"Give me back my gun! I'm going to shoot those bastards!!! he says, getting more excited.
Travel tips from those who know (#38):
Avoid gunfights in Mexico.
"Definitely not!", I say again, putting my foot firmly on top of the revolver and sliding it farther away from him, "It's not necessary, just shut up”. I discover at this point that our officer friend is completely drunk. I can smell the alcohol coming off his breath. I decide that I’m not giving him back his gun. Ever.
Victor pays off the two cops and we get back into the car. The drunk cop in our back seat decides that he needs to go check on his house, because the rain may have washed it away.
“It’s just up the hill.” He says, pointing at a hill that has had it’s only road washed away by rain. Victor explains that the car won’t make it up the hill, so we’ll just go back to the hostel and leave him here to check on it.
“No you don’t. You have to come with me. It’s too dangerous for you guys to be out without me to protect you.” He says. We can’t seem to get rid of this guy as he believes we are his best friends and he is protecting us from harm.
So up we went… I tucked the gun into the back of my jeans and we scrambled up the mud covered mountain with a drunk police officer at 2am Up the hill are the shanty towns, where the poor build houses out of whatever materials they can. We are constantly being barked at by the dogs that people use to protect their houses here. The shanty towns that we are wandering through have no light or water service so we have to make our way slowly.
We got to his house, and realized his concern… it is nothing more than a wooden shack the size of a single car garage, with a dirt floor (which has by this point turned to mud and has a small river running through one side of it. The house could have easily been washed away by a heavy rain. He introduced us to his wife (who was not impressed when her husband came home drunk with two complete strangers) and then asked for his gun back. I handed it to his wife who put it away…
We made our excuse to head back down the hill and get to sleep in our rooms. “I’m still supposed to be there guarding you guys and your stuff so I’ll come with you… we better take this” He said picking up an even bigger gun that he had by the doorway.
“I’ll take that” I offered, and he actually handed it to me. I took a close look, this one was a .38 revolver. Big enough to knock your internal organs out through your back at close range. While he wasn't looking I removed the bullets from the .38, and put then in my pocket. I tucked the revolver into my belt and continued down the hill, in the dark. He could have the gun back, but I was keeping the bullets. We slipped and scrambled down the hill and got back to out hostel.
That’s where we made a discovery. Unknown to us, while we were out having a couple of beers, he had opened up the cooler we left in our room and drank a half a bottle of our rum. Straight. Thus explaining how he got drunk.
We sat around for a bit until we knew that he was asleep and then Victor removed the clip from his rifle. The cop had his guns, we had his ammo. We slept a little better.
Got up the next day and split town to Acapulco
Acapulco is currently going through a bit of a problem that goes unseen by the tourists who visit the wealthy sections of town. Here’s the explanation:
Right at sunset, when it's still hot and now getting dark... the lights go out, the ceiling fans stop and the electricity is shut down for an hour... Of course the hotels all have their own power generators, so they are unaffected, but the actual citizens of the city are forced to sit outside as it gets darker and darker, and they can no longer see inside their houses. traffic becomes crowded around all the intersections as people have no more traffic lights
to ignore. as this hour drags on, people become more and more angry and begin honking their horns and banging pots and pans... the volume of the entire neighborhood grows and grows with people shouting "turn on the lights!" until finally, they go on... and
everyone calms down again...
The power company is protesting the government’s idea to privatize the service.
On the beach, I met a missionary, Kim, from Denver. She was playing with a young Mexican boy at the beach in Acapulco..
”So are you doing this here in Guerrero, or just in Acapulco?“
”Where's Guerrero? “
”That's the name of the state we are in..”
”Oh... I didn't know that.... we're just in Acapulco.
”Do you speak Spanish?“
”No... “
Victor began chatting with her and I started piecing things
together. Then I opened my big mouth to make sure I could put a foot
in it.
"So late me get this straight. You don't speak Spanish, and you
don't know the name of the state you are in and you are helping
these kids how?"
"We're on a mission."
"So your God sent you down here completely unprepared?"
She stopped talking to me
”They're orphans, they need friends. “ She muttered.
Then Victor took over, "...and there aren't enough Mexicans to do this?”
Kim didn’t answer.. (What would you say to a Mexican who asked you this?)
”Why did you chose resort cities instead of places that need help like Chiapas, or Tabasco?“ Victor continued.
”Our church wanted us to be in Mexico.“ She answered.
”Those places are in Mexico....“ Victor pointed out to her.
The conversation, ended there...
Spent our nights in the bars of Acapulco which are not cheap by any standards… $25-30 US cover charge. No jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, or in some bars, you can only enter if you have a date. Two guys… no chance… two girls… of course. We ended up in one bar that had a midget for a bouncer. (wanna see the photo? just ask)This place rocks!!!
Next day we took a drive up the cliffs to see where the famous Acapulco cliff divers leap off the rocks into the water. It's really an impressive sight... they have to time their jumping with the waves in order to avoid landing in water that is only 3 meters deep... the arriving waves can add up to 3 more meters to their landing, but if they mis-calculate, it's going to be bad news.
Last few days were spent at Playa Azul surfing again…pretty tranquil. So now I’m back in Morelia again… here for a few more days before I head to Mexico City and get into trouble there… hope I find another midget… three’s lucky.
